My Very Strong Body

 This morning, I ran, almost literally ran, a 5k. I walked a little on the hills and I also wanted to stay with Genevieve. Phoebe started out with us but switched to walking with a friend (tiny brag: last year Phoebe ran the entire thing at age 6 with a patient kindergarten teacher as her buddy, even placing 6th in her age group!). 

This is the farthest I have ever run; I usually run a little over a mile in about 10 minutes, usually about twice a week. I am extremely proud of my strong body and mind for accomplishing this personal best! I kept checking in with myself as I ran, and I felt good and strong the whole way - not even that ragged breath, painful lung feeling that I loathe and try to avoid with running. 

My husband pointed out that in cycling, you can add up your weekly miles, double that, and be confident that you can ride that for a longer ride. So I see now how my dogged jogs for the last five years, really not increasing in speed or distance, have created this strength in me. 

Another thing: when I had my first baby, I went down into post-partum depression. I was blindsided and confused. By the time I figured out what was going on and started to climb out of the hole, I felt terribly betrayed by my body. One of my big healing steps was saying this out loud to a therapist, who gently led me to talk to my body, speaking truth and love. 

I have continued to grow in my love for my body beyond what she looks like - is she well-rested, well-fed, and strong? Today was a milestone in that radical self-love. I am definitely in perimenopause now with a whole cluster of symptoms a few months back: hot flashes, mood swings, dry mouth, achy joints, flesh blanket descending on my middle, and my period a skittish, random guest. So I am even more astonished and grateful for my body's endurance today.  I will continue to jog in astonishment and self-love!

A thrifty note: the tee shirt I am wearing is from 2019. I always decline a new one with the registration. Too many branded, logo, advertising tee shirts in the thrift stores for me to contribute to that waste. So I keep wearing my race tee on repeat, even mending the holes that the bunny nibbled in it when someone who shall not be named borrowed my shirt.  

My Favorite Hair Product is Water

Ok, that title is kind of click-baitish, I know, but I'm here to update you on my curly-girl methods and it's true: water is my favorite product! I started trying the curly-girl method about 2 years ago. I finally feel like I have a handle on what my hair can do and what I'm willing to do for it.

I love the DevaCurl shampoo and conditioner the best - I've tried several different brands by now. My hair is thick but fine, so it can easily get weighed down by the heavy moisture in lots of curl-recommended products. I never skip shampoo, and I do put my hair up after a shower in a regular towel for a few minutes so it's not dripping - I don't rub or pat my hair with the towel, so it doesn't make it frizzy. 

Then I put on some DevaCurl Wavemaker and gel and clip up the roots to help hold up the weight of the wet hair so it doesn't dry flat. I use about 5-7 clips, mostly on the top of my head; one key clip pinches a cowlick in the back so it doesn't show so much.  I give it as many hours as I can to dry, remove the clips, and scrunch a little to break up the crunchy gel.  When this bottle of gel is done, I'm going to try something else that doesn't give me the 80s rocker look.  Not my look.

So at bedtime, here's when I use my favorite hair product: I spray my hair thoroughly with water and go to bed with a wet head. Overnight, my curly waves bounce back into soft, generous curls.  In the morning, I ruffle my hand through the curly waves and that's it! I used to try spraying my hair with water in the morning, but it never did much except dripped on my neck.

Bedhead! Still in my jammies so I can show you

I don't know exactly why sleeping with a wet head makes such wonderful hair, but at my fall haircut, the stylist said that's what she does (locals, let me know if you want an amazing DevaCurl stylist who is totally cool with low-maintenance girls like me and a desire to be environmentally friendly).

 I only wash my hair every three days, so I get two days off from everything hair-related except for some squirts of water at bedtime.  See? Water is absolutely my favorite hair product.

Magic Elderberry Elixir

My friend and neighbor Jess told me elderberry was great. Rebecca told me it was great and sent it with her kids to college. I finally thought I would try, too.

I used Wellness Mama's very simple recipe; I bought dried elderberries at a local grocery store, $4 for the amount needed for this recipe (locals, email me and I'll hook you up). The other ingredients are raw honey, water, cloves, cinnamon, and gingerroot, making this much less expensive than commercial versions. 

I figured it would be like taking vitamin C or putting extra garlic in the chicken soup when we had colds - just another tool to possibly shorten the length of the cold.  But no! I am convinced that taking elderberry syrup has literally killed several colds in our family already this fall! No one has taken to bed with a cold. No one has gone through more than a few hankies before we upped the dosage of elderberry and pow, the cold has entirely disappeared. 

For general maintenance, we take a half teaspoon or a teaspoon a day. We either take it straight or mix it with a little water.  When we feel cold-like sypmtoms, we take that dosage several times a day. We all like the taste of the syrup except Ben, who falls on the floor in dramatic horror every time I force him to take some. Whatever, Ben. You haven't missed out on any fun because of elderberry syrup, so your protests are in vain. 

My Newest Baby Step: Diva Cup

Every year, it seems I find the strength and inspiration to take another baby step in being environmentally-friendly.  After reading Cup of Jo's post and talking to a few friends, I bought a Diva Cup (with coupons, duh).  

Requisite pretty photo: a Native American skirt at a NY antique shop. In case you ever wondered what to do with your rick-rack stash.

I'm so pleased with it! And sorry I waited so long.  I avoid disposables where I can, to be environmentally-friendly, and a menstrual cup is a pretty great switch.  Less trash, less fuss, cheaper over the long run.  I'm glad I tried it first on an at-home day, because it took a few tries to get it in a comfortable spot.

Any new baby steps you're taking to be environmentally friendly?  You've been a great source of ideas for me.

Now I Jog

I have always hated, loathed, and despised running.  When we had to run a mile in gym class, I thought I was dying.  I would be near the end of the pack, and I walked every chance I got.  My gym teacher yelled her theory that my long legs were made for running, but no, I am a lumbering-gait kind of tall person, that's all.  Some of my friends ran cross-country. Some of my friends run marathons.  Who runs for fun? It's painful to run!  Why invite pain?

 I confess I kept this mindset until June of this year (sorry, runner-friends! so sorry).
I have three reasons why I started jogging in June (I like to call it bouncing, based on this very inspiring article).

First of all, I am middle-aged (I'd have to do some math to tell you exactly), which means my metabolism has slowed down.  And it was showing.  Hoo boy, I was getting pudgy.  I basically like my clothes, and I didn't want to get new clothes. Jogging has trimmed off some fluff and my clothes fit better now.

Secondly, since having babies, I also have bouts of clinical depression that I manage with self-care (partly chocolate, duh) and antidepressants. I get a little mental-health high from running.  I don't know if it's the same "runner's high" that real runners talk about, but it works to reset my brain, wipe out anxious thoughts, and bring me happily back to my reality.  I'm a much nicer person after a run.

Thirdly, jogging is so efficient, and I do love efficiency.  I can have my heart pounding and the sweat dripping within minutes - much faster than walking or biking, my other reliable forms of exercise. I don't really know how far I'm jogging, but I usually am gone from home about 30 minutes. Then I stretch a little, shower, and drink some extra water, all pleased with myself.

Some jogging bonuses: it's easy to do anywhere with no equipment. I love the wide-open space and big trees in the cemetery where I jog. I get to connect with more friends over jogging.  Sometimes my sister or Genevieve jogs with me, and once I took Phoebe in the jogging stroller.

While I jog, I admire the names on the tombstones going by and find my place, humbly, in the whole gamut of humanity.  I sometimes say the name of a pressing problem over and over again to the sky and that seems to take care of that problem. I sometimes throw little one-sentence prayers at God.  I give myself kind and hopeful messages: my clothes fit nicely now! I love how my strong legs look as they pound down the path! I am doing this for my mood! For my children! For my sweetheart!

At this point, I aim to jog twice a week and do a Pilates DVD at home twice a week.  All free and relatively quick. I've noticed that I have fewer aches and pains, that I can bend down and stand up more easily (no joke as you enter middle age!). I sleep better on the days that I jog.  I may have more energy, but since I've also taken up a second cup of coffee in the afternoon, it's hard to tell.

I've tweaked my diet just a little bit, too.  I really try to be in tune with my hunger because sometimes I get confused by stress, boredom, or thirst. I only eat to being "not hungry" instead of "full." I'm often surprised by how small a portion I actually need, so I try not to mindlessly dish out a portion I would have eaten in my freewheeling thirties, in my nursing days, back before my metabolism shifted. I do not eat anything at all after supper, nothing until breakfast. I haven't cut out desserts, but I have reduced  portions and frequency.

I tell you all this to inspire you.  That you can be trim, healthy, and happy without a lot of money and time.  This is, after all, a blog about thrift.  I bought one pair of running shorts and I need to buy a new pair of sneakers soon. I haven't paid gym or class fees, or set up a home gym; if that's your thing, I'm glad it works for you.

Are you a jogger (or a bouncer, haha)?  Discuss. I'd also take recommendations for Pilates youtube videos that are less than 20 minutes.

Ben's Summer Haircut

One of my friends was telling me how she cut her son's hair, and I looked at the YouTube tutorial she used and thought I could do that.  I asked Ben if he wanted his hair a little shorter before the summer heat, and then I bribed him with Minecraft time, and everything was golden.  For every minute I would spend cutting his hair, he would get a minute of Minecraft time (this is an extremely big deal to Ben: currently he only gets 30 minutes of Minecraft on Saturday and Sunday).

I took him out in the yard with the clippers my dad gave me, and set to.  I cut off his longer hair (we're still finding chunks in the grass, to Genevieve's disgust), so the clippers did not hurt so much. The haircut lasted 15 minutes - Ben was almost disappointed it wasn't longer, but I was so pleased with the results and he was ultimately pleased to have extra screen time.  Bribery is probably not a great parenting tool, but it gets great results.  It's also how I'm getting ponytails on Phoebe these days.

Ben felt so fine and sharp after his shower to wash off the hair that he put on his favorite shirt for supper.  Someone in the house dressed for dinner!  How I love that boy.

Let's Do Our Phoebes!

About a year ago, my husband started doing push-ups with Phoebe on his back for extra weight.  Then he added the lifts you see in the video (be sure to note the way he extends up on to his toes at the top of the lift). 

He also dips Phoebe behind his back. 

Phoebe adores ordering her daddy to the floor to "do our Phoebes!" She usually counts out loud, incorrectly but with great purpose, for him.

All of this strength training is good for him, fun for Phoebe, and 100% free (if you don't add up the cost of feeding and housing a toddler - let's not - otherwise, very thrifty strength training).

Every day Phoebe gets incrementally older and heavier - how many years can they keep this up? 

Using Curly Girl Method for my Wavy Hair

For about 10 years, I've been wearing my hair up and frizzy in the summer, and then in the winter I straighten it with product and blow dryer and wear it down. For the last few years, I've had to fight it considerably to get it straight in the winter.  After reading Jennifer's post, Rebecca texted me:  "your hair would do that!"  So I bought some new products, poked around on the Curly Girl website (totally overwhelming!), checked the Curly Girl book out of the library (less overwhelming), and tried some things.

Here's what I've been doing for 3 weeks now.

To wash my hair, I put a quarter-size amount of sulfate-free shampoo on my fingertips and put it only on my roots.  I scrub my scalp with my fingertips and ignore the rest of my hair.  I rinse it well with cool water by standing under the stream of water and just lifting and scrunching my hair to get all the soapy parts rinsed. I usually count to 60 to make sure I'm really getting it rinsed.  I do not swirl, rub, or otherwise roughly disturb my hair.  My reasons:  shampoo, even sulfate-free, can still be drying to hair and curly hair needs so much more moisture than I ever imagined. Cool water is less drying than hot water. Even while wet, curly hair is trying to keep its curl pattern, so I don't want to mess it up unduly.

Then I squirt apple cider vinegar directly on my scalp and give it a quick rinse. My reasons: my scalp likes to get itchy and flaky quickly, and the vinegar helps to disrupt that pattern.  Plus, it removes any product build-up on my hair.

To condition, I use a half-dollar size amount of sulfate-free conditioner.  This time, I ignore my scalp and scrunch it through my ends, getting to within an inch or two of my head. Then, I run my hands lightly over the top of my head, to hit the "hair canopy" where most of the frizz would be. I let the conditioner soak in for the rest of my shower ablutions. Then I stand under the water, cool again, for just a few quick rinses. My reasons: conditioner is going to moisturize my hair, not my scalp.

Just done putting on gel: drowned rat look.

As soon as I'm out of the shower, I squeeze the ends of my hair in a towel - no rubbing whatsoever! But no special towel, either, as Curly Girl would have me use.  I just blot the water out of the ends. 

Immediately, I flip over my head and scrunch DevaCurl Light Defining Gel through the ends and up to about an inch from my scalp. I stand up and ignore my hair as much as possible until it's thoroughly dry, several hours. It will look fairly crunchy and 1980s gelled, which is a scary look, but Curly Girl calls this a "gel cast" and says you can break it by shaking your head and shuffling the roots.  I find that just general living with kids breaks my gel cast before I get around to it.

The next two days, in the morning, I spray my hair generously with water with a few drops of lavender essential oil in it.  When it's quite wet and the curls are springing back, I flip my head over and scrunch in One and Only Argan Oil Styling Cream. Then let it alone completely until it dries.

Some issues, notes, and questions I have:
1. Lorraine Massey (Curly Girl method) says frizz is just parched hair reaching out into the atmosphere for moisture; it's a curl-in-waiting.  My hair is hardly frizzy at all anymore!

2. I'm not sure if I actually love how my hair looks.  I can see it's healthier and I'm not fighting its natural wave, but do I actually like it?  Thinking this might be a reason to seek out a Deva salon to get a good cut.

3. Apparently my wavy hair will adjust and develop more the longer I stay on this routine.  I'm curious to see if I like the looks more, or if it gets more curly?  I know it will be more curly in the summer humidity.

4. If sulfates are so drying for hair, should I ditch all the sudsy sulfate shampoos in our house?

5. My scalp is less itchy, but more flaky than pre-Curly Girl method.  Not sure I have the stamina to brave the Curly Girl forums and do research.

Please chime in with what you know about curly hair, wavy hair, or hair care in general.

Ben, Tucked Up in Blankets

He's home sick from school today with a nasty cold.  The weather is mild - the air smells fresh and the sun is going in and out of the clouds.  My husband suggested that Ben read on the balcony to blow the germs out of his lungs.  So, with hot tea and a good book, chosen, I am sure, for his interest and not for the irony, he got himself snug on the balcony loveseat.

He's not the only who's coughing and complaining in our family just now.  I have escaped the pestilence (so far! knock on wood!).  I tell them all to force clear liquids, even in they're not thirsty, to get lots of sleep, and wash their hands before touching anything other people touch.  At night, they use humidifiers and homemade cough syrup (it's worth clicking on that link just to see 3-year-old Ben!). 

When I was growing up, Mom would have us take Vitamin C to help our immune systems.  What's the modern equivalent?  What do you give your people to boost their immunity in the season of lots of people inside sharing germs with each other?

How I Put Up My Hair

When I posted pictures of my sea-green dress, you all zeroed in on my hair and asked how I put it up.  Some of you even went so far as to ask for a tutorial.  Listen, I am a teacher by nature and I love teaching, but online tutorials are not the same as teaching and I'm a little out of my element.

But I scheduled my annual hair cut for next week, which forced me to decide if I was going to attempt a tutorial for you or not.  I enlisted Genevieve to hold my phone as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and put up my hair, and we went for it. You can imagine that Ben's trombone practice in the background is the soundtrack, ok?

So that this feels more like teaching to me, please tell me if you tried to follow my directions and, better yet, if you have a blog, post a photo and link in the comments.  Or, instead, tell us all how you get your hair up and off your face. 

Genevieve Hosts a Party

She was begging for a party with all the classic party trappings.  I suddenly realized that if she got it out of her system now, we could have our traditional low-key family celebration at her birthday and no extra gifts from a big peer party.  Spread out the chaos and fun in manageable doses! So we did.

And Genevieve planned it:  the menu, games, guest list, invitations, she planned it all.  She felt the work and anxiety that go into planning a social event - that was good for her. I suggested that she gather supplies for relay races or pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey or some other classic games, but she decided to follow a very loose program of running around after the main event, the pinata that she fussed over and filled with her very own money.   I did make the cookies and popcorn, but only because she asked me to.

She made the lemonade from a recipe she chose from Joy of Cooking. She had been begging for a lemonade stand all summer long, and she loved making that lemonade.  Each child had a cloth napkin as a "plate" for the snacks.  We used the fancy violet ice cubes (hooray! more space in my freezer!).

When the party was over and the happy guests departed, Ben summed it up well:  "that was really more like a play date."  Well, a play date with a pinata and my mom as a good-sport helper.

The Summer Braid

In June, I was at a publishing convention in New York.  I saw an elegant woman with silver hair and I did not forget her braid.  She had her hair pulled up high on the side of her head, braided, and laid across the top of her head.

This has become my go-to hairstyle this summer.  It is simpler than the Heidi look (which I want to stop calling Heidi braids because it makes them sound quaint, costume-y, or childish). I've seen them called rainbow braids. I can do these braids (see the photos on this post), but it takes some energy and futzing.

This summer braid, however, is a snap.  I pull back the front part of my hair into a barrette to help anchor the braid, then I make the braid, secure its end with a tiny, clear elastic, and pin it in place with several bobby pins. (That's as close to a tutorial as I'm getting).  My hair is several inches below my shoulders, as a point of reference.  I love it off my neck in the summer, and this braid is my favorite way to do that.

A Hair Towel for Genevieve

When Genevieve's hair was washed, I would wrap it up in a towel turban that never stayed on her head.  So her hair would drip on her shoulders and she would go around with a damp nightie or tee-shirt, depending when she had her shower.

I stumbled across this hair towel tutorial.  I made one using a random lavender towel that came back from a cabin vacation that my aunt thought was hers but could not be bothered to shlep back to the cabin.  So: unwanted towel in a color my daughter loves. 

I cut the hair towel/hood on the finished sides of the towel, so I didn't need bias tape to finish the edges (although the tutorial has very nice, clear directions for doing that).  For a little sweetness, I stitched on a cupcake with several casual lines of sewing. 

I made the elastic loop the 8" as stated in the tutorial, but I think it could be shorter.  Also, my towel was quite thick and thirsty, so it doesn't twist up as easily into the top loop.  And I did need to shorten the back hood seam to accomodate Genevieve's small head, although I hope it's big enough to carry us through years here.  The towel is definitely an improvement over slipping turbans and wet shoulders!  I do recommend it.

A Hankie as Bandage

We went on a hike and Ben ran down the trail so hard he fell.  This is typical.  My sister the nurse just looks at him and shakes her head and wishes he would wear a helmet all the time. 

Well. 

On this hike, I had bravely taken nothing with me.  Normally, I like to be prepared for every contingency, but for once I thought, oh, it's just a short hike, I'll leave my water bottle and knitting and bag in the car.  But after the bad fall, Ben's elbow was bleeding and he was under the impression that a band-aid would cure the pain.  I hesitatingly offered to tie my hankie-from-winter that was still lurking in my jeans around his elbow.  He was instantly comforted - why would he care if the hanky was partially used and linty?  I knew I could soak the blood out of the hankie in cold water.  We were all cheerful again. 

I am quite sure a tissue would not have been big enough or sturdy enough to tie around his elbow - let's hear it for cloth hankies in every pocket!