Thursday, May 26, 2011

Introvert - pretty, happy, funny, real


I just realized, thanks to this post, that I am an introvert.  I really thought that because I'm not shy and quiet, I'm an extrovert.  But it's more a question of what energizes me and what drains my energy - introverts are drained by people and energized by solitude and yes, socializing slowly drains away my energy. 
(Ben after playing in the rain - we've had so much rain!)

Suddenly my marriage came into focus:  all the times my husband eagerly accepts social invitations while I pluck at his elbow wondering if we can go home yet.  An hour at parties is enough for me, but my husband is just getting going.


I still recall the endless stream of visitors after Ben was born when I started to panic because I just couldn't bear to socialize anymore and that sent me into a guilty tizzy because these were dear friends and family!  But, duh, if I had only realized then that I am an introvert, I would have been kinder to myself and firmer to the visitors that I would see them another day. Or handed Ben to them and gone off for a little solitude.

Now it wonders me if all homemakers are introverts. . . energized by nesting, solitary puttering, and domestic projects.  Do extroverts like being at home if they can entertain a lot?

Chime in and tell me:  are you an introvert or an extrovert?  How does it affect your homemaking?


(linking up with Like Mother, Like Daughter's collection today - go check it out!  I picked photos of my children to illustrate the pretty, happy, funny, and real aspects of our life together.)
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20 comments:

Jennifer Jo said...

A sunny umbrella for a rainy day---lovely.

I'm an extrovert but I love being at home. Hosting the family gathering was the perfect solution.

Heritage Farmgirl said...

I am an introvert. Always have been but Dearest says i am the opposite. I would rather be left on my own in the middle of the woods to fed for myself then talk to a person all day.

Ya lots of rain! Good photo's of the kids. Nice to see Ben smiling.I know he does but a lot of you photo's of him are pouts.

Nadja said...

I am much like you. Most folks take me for an extrovert because I am not shy and converse easily. But people drain me. I don't care for social gatherings at all, have people over only when I feel obligated to and almost never pick up the phone to call anyone. I prefer the cocoon of my home to just about any other place.

Great umbrella shots!

Christian @ Modobject at Home said...

I am an introvert, no question about it! Homemaking does seem to come easily for me, but I'll be very honest and say that there are many days when I find mothering to be very draining (particularly now that I have children old enough not to nap but still young enough to be quite needy)... which is why I rise early to enjoy some solitude; there are many days when there is very little solitude during the course of the day and that is okay -- this is a season and mothering is one of my callings. Despite my personality I know that God has equipped me to delight in nurturing my children.

Tracy said...

Yes, I am an introvert as well. I love being home, and even being by myself. I do love people, and have no problem making conversation. I even enjoy having people into our home, but I'm never as quick to invite as my husband is.

Cute photos, too!

Mrs. Fordyce said...

Lovely pictures! We have had a lot of rain here as well, and most of my pictures involve rubber boots and grey skies!

I am also an introvert, and enjoy my own company just fine! I enjoy social gathering much more if I am hosting, as that gives me something to do if the conversations stall or get awkward!

Elaine said...

I'm an introvert, and I love being at home, but I HATED my few short months of being a homemaker! I thrive off having a challenging, social, fast-paced work environment...when I leave work, I really need my down time, but if I don't work outside the home, I find myself feeling drab, bored, depressed, etc.

Mrs. Mordecai said...

Another introvert here! I definitely thrive on alone time, and being around people, even friends, wears on me pretty quickly. I enjoy being at home all day and hardly ever feel lonely; sometimes the kids always wanting to touch me, talk to me, etc. wears on me, but when my husband gets home I can usually get sane again by spending half an hour alone in my room.

ThyHandHathProvided said...

Hmmm. I'm not sure what I am. I crave social gatherings, am happy to stay until folks start leaving, but am exhausted by them. On the other hand, quiet time alone is wonderful and I crave that, too, but I often choose to read blogs or talk on the phone during those times. Okay, I think it's all coming together...I'm energized by time spent not in direct supervision of my children. It sounds kind of terrible, but I think it's true:-).

Crystal said...

Thy Hand, I couldn't agree more. I've thought of this extrovert/introvert debate and can't decide where I fit in. In this season of my life, I crave solitude (not just being at home) and adult conversation. Sometimes, though, I feel I've lost the art of conversation. I spend most of my time with a verbal three old who peppers me with questions so my own thoughts are often interrupted. Right now he is sleeping, so I'm going to complete some work!

simplymelissa said...

Well Margo, I think you know I'm more of an introvert than not, but through the starting of the relocating process (am happy to be moving nearer to you guys though) I am realizing just how much I actually need to go through life with others.

sarah barry said...

thanks for the shout out! this knowlege was life changing for me...especially with such an extroverted husband {like yours}.

interesting thoughts about homemakers generally being introverts. i can see how those particular gifts go hand in hand with being an introvert.

Carol A.Bender said...

I am an introvert and need to find solitude to re-energize but I love to throw parties and joke around a lot. I just don't enjoy crowds of people I don't know. Going to a party is way different than me having one, it really drains me.
Great happy kid pics!

Deanna Beth said...

I suppose I'm mostly an introvert and it affects my life in so many ways. As far as my homemaking, I'd always rather have people in than go to someone's house, but that's about being comfortable at home more than being around people. I'm thinking about a spiritual aspect now, too, in which we have our way of doing things and sometimes being around other people uncovers things that irritate me about them. (This doesn't make me proud of myself, I'm just "talking" through my answer.) I'll spend a day with people and then sometimes go to bed thinking, "I cannot BELIEVE how much those people are focused on winning. How can they even call themselves Christians?" or, "Jeez, they went on and on and on about their own kids and never once asked us about ours," or "I would sooner die than be married to that man." I wonder why I am that way and what I can do about it?

Also apparent are the social needs of my family. Downtime is needed by all the people in this home. If we've had a busy weekend and have to cap it off by family or church obligations that last until suppertime (or later) on Sunday, I think, "Great, now I'll be sending the kids back to school exhausted and they/I/we all will be paying for it for days.

Boy, that's really got me thinking. Aren't you glad you asked?

Margo said...

I love this discussion! You've fine tuned the definition and offered more angles for me to think about. (so yes, DB, I'm glad I asked!)
I've had blogger issues that haven't allowed me to comment on some blogs, even my own - but I think it's resolved.

Dani said...

My fiance and I are the same way. I NEED down time away from people or I become... well sometimes unpleasant. He on the other hand is constantly going out and having people over and never wants it to stop!

jacinta @ modelmumma said...

I think I am an introvert as I love hanging out by myself and the peace and quiet. I like being at home with the girls too but I also crave some sort of social interaction... most of the time I love it when people come to my house as if we have to go out in public, sometimes I feel a bit nervous and would rather stay home. But saying that, once I do go I end up enjoying myself.
This is a great topic Margo. I'm one of those mum's who are happy to stay at home doing quiet things, while I have friends who have to get out every day or they go crazy. (them or the kids.)
xo

Domestic Accident said...

I am an extrovert, but a homebody. I like socializing at my house. I am a lover of routine- that includes interaction with adults, but keeps the rhythm of our home.

Great question.

Anna said...

As chatty as I am, I too, am also an introvert. Oh, how alone-time does energize me! (Not always an easy thing to achieve as a stay-at-home mama!)

Amelia B. said...

Beautiful post, but I definitely do *not* think that all homemakers are introverts! In fact, this line of thinking pushes many extroverts into the working world simply for socialization... but just think! If more extroverts stayed home, then there would be much more socialization... a la playdates with the children, family barbeques, etc. Just as introverts can help us understand the peace and beauty of a quiet home, I think extroverts can help us understand that we are all social creatures on some level, and even homemakers need a few friends to survive the day-to-day realities of life!

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